I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
