dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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