She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
