batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
