So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
