Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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