You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize