I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Someone shattered a urinal.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
