She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
