found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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