carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
