i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He did a backflip because drugs
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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