Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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