drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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