ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
