therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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