I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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