So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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