I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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