He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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