tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize