please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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