4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
