i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
