i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
