Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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