why im i the only drunk person in the library?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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