wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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