He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
