In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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