I'd wear matching sweaters with you
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
