do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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