remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
