READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
