i just had sex bonerless
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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