Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
