he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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