Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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