if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
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And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
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Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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