so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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