Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
