she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize