Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
