yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
the liver wants what the liver wants
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
