you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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