their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Pants are for mortals
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
