don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Randomize
