i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
