you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize