all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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