Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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