So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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