I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize