was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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