we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
