all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
