im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize