I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
